Taman's Experience

Taman sits on the ground resting his back to a tree. He looks at his hand, slowly twirling the mushrooms which Killian had given them. The party's campsite is quiet now, but in his head, a monologue churns.

"You just met a dragon, something many can only dream of!" ... "More damned sorcery, even these mushrooms seem to be enchanted!" ... "Look at me now, ma! I sat down for some tea with a dragon!" ... "Should I take these? Should I let go of my previous life, my rules?" ... "THE rules, the ones that have kept me alive for most my life?" ... "You have lived by rules your whole life!" ... "Are those even the correct rules?" ... "I lost the love of my life by dedicating too much to rules which I believe in." ... "Who's to say I haven't wasted my entire life?" ... "No I haven't!, I've done good! I've saved lives! I've protected innocents and those under my charge!" ... "I've taken lives, seen many fall. Enemies, friends, fathers, sons..." ... "But now we're dealing with something that could decide the fate of many more. So are my rules good enough?" ... "This dragon seems somehow benevolent. I was skeptical, but he clearly acts with honor, yet with different rules." ... "Perhaps it's time to let go? Let life happen without rules, without constraints?" ... "Or perhaps different... or just better rules?" ... "What rule is there to decide on the best rules? I'm going in circles!"

A deep breath to compose himself. "Restraint and caution are needed, but sometimes the best approach is a headlong charge. That's a rule I'll keep."

And with that he picks out some of the mushrooms -- half of what Killian recommended as "one dose" -- and gulps them down.

"Torm, guide me. I'm no holy man, but I wish to do what is right, whether by mankind's rules or not", he whispers.

At first nothing happens. A minute goes by, then another and another. He starts feeling tired, his head heavy as a barrel helm. He slides down the tree trunk, into a more comfortable position. Getting ready to sleep for a few hours. Tomorrow they need to travel again, so he needs to be rested. He nods off.

Suddenly Taman is standing in an open field. Before him is a dark, bulbous mess. Powerful tentacles are lashing out of this black mass! His legs feel numb, his hands are cold, his arm muscles burning as he fights the huge thing in front of him! Next to him stands his friends, also fighting the creature.

"There's John and Dave and Braduin... No, this can't be right ... they died, I watched them die!"

With that thought, one of the tentacles strikes him down and everything goes black. Nothing... all he feels is nothing... He is jolted back to life as a fist slams into his chest! A hand -- a massive, radiant hand! -- grabs him by his shirt and pulls him back up to his feet. "FIGHT! THERE IS NO TIME FOR REST!" he hears a voice thunder, and when he looks up he sees Torm. The god of courage and self-sacrifice himself is standing over him! Torm lifts him to his feet and immediately slams his fist into another's chest and lifts him up, yelling for him to carry on fighting. He obeys, he jumps forward lashing out with his sword. He's wearing plate now, it's time to fight! ... Agonizing pain... darkness ... again he feels nothing.

Another fist slams into his chest. It hurts terribly, but at the same time he feels rejuvenated. "FIGHT! DAMN YOU! THIS IS NO TIME TO REST! SLAY THIS MONSTROSITY!" he hears Torm yell. He is up on his feet, he looks around, and sees Torm lifting his fallen comrades up yelling for them to fight and slay the beast, encouraging them. Torm is sweating profusely but he continues to revive those who fall to the monstrosity before them. All of the men he sees are friends, fathers and sons. Ones he trained, ones he fought beside and ones who died saving his life. Their memories flood back to him all at once. He bolsters himself, screams out in frustration and attacks the black mass before him! ... Agonizing pain... darkness ... again he feels nothing.

The fist slams into his chest, Torm yells for him to fight, he fights, he sees his friends fall, he sees Torm slam his fist into their chests. The tentacled mass grows each time a friend falls. Over and over, it repeats endlessly. The mass grows and grows, it obscures the sun. He dies, Torm revives, he fights! Over and over!

"It's hopeless! ... We are losing this fight!" he says to himself... Despair, agony, darkness.... A slam to the chest... Light, faith, hope! ... "Hope! Yes, there is always hope!" ... A warm energy washes over his body. Renewed, he stands before the dark mass. Screaming... lots of screaming as he lashes out at the monstrosity before him! His weapon makes contact and a piece of it falls to the ground... "We can do this! We can defeat this... this thing!" ... More screaming, but he looks around and sees the others are no longer falling. Torm is exhausted, but is smiling, yelling: "THAT'S RIGHT! FIGHT, MY CHILDREN! SHOW THIS MONSTROSITY THAT WE WON'T BACK DOWN! THAT WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP! THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!"

Together they carve piece after piece from the black mass until finally it is no more. Taman turns to the others, and they all look at him with voices whispering. "Thank you... Thank you... Thank you... Thank you!" As they complete their words they disappear, one by one... "Thank you... Thank you... Thank you..."

Taman awakes in broad daylight to find his body is hurting. His hands are down his pants, surprisingly warm... stuffed alongside a dead squirrel, poking out halfway. Normally, he would care. He sits up. As bad as he is feeling right now in his physical form, he feels a hundred times better mentally. No matter what the world throws at him, he knows that he can handle it. The weight of his fallen brethren, and of the innocents he could not protect... the guilt and the pain he had been carrying around all these years for each of them... that weight is gone!

His eyes adjust but his mind is still occupied with the dream. Was it a divine vision? He pulls his pants down to get rid of the squirrel, barely noticing the other party members snickering around him. They all give him strange looks as he stretches and walks into the brush, pants still around his ankles... Taman snaps out of his reverie and assesses his surroundings. He notices them, collects his thoughts for a second, then declares simply: "I'm going to take a dump". Then he shuffles away into the forest. He is free for the first time in years!